In a victory that has caught the international press by surprise, President Mugabe has won another term by a landslide victory. Zanu-PF mananged a comfortable 62% of the vote. Officials - wha? Huh? What do you mean we can only release this after the vote?
Now for the funnies...
A man is caught in a traffic jam when suddenly, someone taps on the window of his car. He lowers the window and asks what he wants.
The other man says, "President Mugabe was kidnapped and the ransom is $50 million dollars. If the ransom is not paid, the kidnappers have threatened to douse the President with gasoline and set him on fire. We are taking up a collection. Do you wish to participate?"
The man in the car asks, "On average, what are people donating?"
The other man replies, "About 5 to 10 liters".
Local is sometimes not so lekker
Queen Elizabeth, Bill Clinton & Robert Mugabe died & went straight to hell.
Queen Elizabeth said "I miss England, I want to call England and see how everybody is doing there.
She called and talked for about 5 minutes, then she asked "Well ,devil how much do I owe you????
The devil says "Five million dollars"
She wrote him a cheque and went to sit back on her chair.
Bill Clinton was so jealous, he starts screaming, "My turn! I wanna call the United States, I want to see how everybody is doing there too"
He called and talked for about 2 minutes, then he asked "Well, devil how much do I owe you????
The devil says "Ten million dollars"
With a smug look on his face, he made a cheque and went to sit back on his chair.
Robert Mugabe was even more jealous & starts screaming, "I want to call Zim too, I want to see how everybody is doing there too. I wanna talk to the ministers, to the deputy, I wanna talk to everybody".....
He called Zim and he talked for about twenty hours, he talked & talked & talked, then he asked "Well, devil how much do I owe you????
The devil says "One dollar".
Mugabe is stunned & says "One dollar??? Only one lousy dollar??"
The devil says "Well if you make a call from one hell to another hell, it's local".
And now this is scary.