Saturday, December 15, 2007
The Ballad of Ricky Bobby
Reese Bobby: [walks into the classroom] Excuse me, darling. I'm Reese Bobby. I'm here for career day with my son, Ricky.
10-year-old Ricky: Dad!
Reese Bobby: Hey there, boy! Man, you got big. How long's it been? Three, four months? 10-year-old Ricky: Ten years.
Reese Bobby: Ten years? Man, I gotta lay off the peyote. [puts a cigarette in his mouth] Schoolteacher: Mr. Bobby, there's no smoking in here.
Reese Bobby: Oh, it's all right, darling, I'm a volunteer fireman. Okay, I am a semi-professional racecar driver and an amateur tattoo artist. Classmates: OOO0HHHH!
Reese Bobby: And the first thing you gotta learn if you're gonna be a racecar driver, is that you don't listen to losers like your know-it-all teacher here.
Schoolteacher: Okay, I think that's enough.
Reese Bobby: Your teacher wants you to go slow, and she's wrong because it's the fastest who get paid and it's the fastest who get laid. Classmates: [they all cheer]
Ricky Bobby: Wait, Dad. Don't you remember the time you told me "If you ain't first, you're last"?
Reese Bobby: Huh? What are you talking about, Son?
Ricky Bobby: That day at school.
Reese Bobby: Oh hell, Son, I was high that day. That doesn't make any sense at all, you can be second, third, fourth... hell you can even be fifth.
Ricky Bobby: What? I've lived my whole life by that!
Ricky Bobby: Hey. I lost my license. That's why I'm on the bus... I'm delivering pizzas. Man on the Subway: Mothafucka, what makes you think I care? Shut the fuck up!
Ricky Bobby: I- I've just telling you that 'cause, like I said, I lost my license. I've just been having a lot of problems lately. Man on the Subway: Problems? I don't want to hear about your damn problems! Everybody's got problems! My momma got problems she just lost her leg! My cousin Pookie just lost a testicle! My dog just threw up somebody's finger! That's a problem! Ricky Bobby: I really regret opening my mouth and talking to you.
Ricky Bobby: I've sent in my application to the Real World. So I'm hoping to hear back from that. I'm putting A LOT of my eggs into that basket, the MTV basket. I'm also thinking about getting a gun, and dealing crack. Being a crack dealer. Not like a mean crack dealer, but like... like a nice one. Kinda friendly like, "hey, what's up guys? Want some crack?" I'm just waiting on those two things to flesh themselves out.
NVDL: This is a great movie that illustrates just how chronically f-d up the human condition has become. It's so bad that at times you're not sure if real life is being parodied or simply represented. That's ba-a-a-a-ad.