Monday, June 11, 2007

Things that go bump

The pipe under the unit must be leaking water, which then freezes at night, and the resulting chunk of ice then turns the foundations, with walls and attached bed (and human in it) into an interesting experiment on how How To Refrigerate The Suburban House.

Last night, I’m not sure which happened first – either a vertebra dislodged itself, or something went bump in the night. If you could have fastforwarded the 4 hours of tossing and turning, it would have looked like this.

Various squirming contortions, approximating an Earthworm trying to burrow into cement. A nocturnal handstand (thinking being upside down might stretch the vertebra enough to separate them). A few hours of channel surfing (basically Benni McCarthy plus loads of soccer – trust me, nothing worth staying awake for). Then back to the squirming worm contortions, then I swapped mattresses, remade the bed, and tried all possible sleeping positions: from foetus, to starfish, to passed out drunk, to fossilized athlete in mid leap.
As if this wasn’t enough, I heard an unfathomable noise that first made me sink twenty metres into my mattress, but upon resurfacing, I realized it was probably a cat that had skidded on the toiletbowl on the way in or out (through an open window).
Open window – DING! That’s why it is so cold!

When I finally kicked my painful carcass out of bed, I realized only one bar of the heater was glowing. IDIOT! Then I did a quick inspection, and found, surprise, every single window was closed. Hence, no intruder. Hence, no cat. The glacier below must have expanded enough to crack some element in the superstructure – a noise resembling a cat knocking over a chair and then in the same motion, jumping out the window via an unstable toilet seat, but in fact probably the roof timbers cracking, and tiles buckling.

The weekend was weird. Went to gym (86.6kg) managed to get in a swim (best 100m = 1:23), also a squash game (Me 3: J 0), Mad’s party, plus went for a spin in the Jeep etc etc.
Hennie sms-d me re: SA Tri Champs are in Bloem next year, so for World Champs – it’s now or never.

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