Thursday, April 21, 2005

Do You Believe In Luck?

Today was the first day this week that I woke up, ignored the alarm, and went back to sleep. I finally dragged my corpse out of bed and threw it onto the toilet seat. No toilet paper. Fast Forward: The sleepy plot was to catch an additional 10 minutes of desperately needed rest, and to make up for that time by cycling, instead of walking, to the subway stop. Downstairs, the bicycle lock was lying between all the bicycles, like a strangled, frozen snake. But no bicycle. Bad luck?

A taxi happened to be hovering nearby, but the black Delux one, that charge more than twice the rates of the ordinary ones. I hailed an ordinary one, but it ignored me, and I could see why - someone was inside. I got inside and watched the meter glow red with those monstrously large numbers: 4000. In a normal taxi it's 1500. Just as I climbed in, a normal taxi swished by.

I was so tired I slept almost the whole way, 2 hours worth, and got to work 20 minutes early. Despite sleepwalking between stations, I caught all the trains in good time, got seats, and at school, sat down on the loo there and, no toilet paper.

Sorgyoung wasn't there, and a few others have dropped out too. Paul Lim emailed me and said I'd gotten 73% for my test, so just missed the pass by a single mark or so.
My throat felt a little better as the day wore on, better I mean, than the green stew that was choking and stinging it when I woke up.

I did have to leave Laura's class at one point. You know when you get a cough, and it keeps growing, and you can't hold it back, and you start going red in the face, and you have this growing dry, itchy, nagging thing growing in your lungs and throat. I kind've had to flee the room for some water.

I heard that we may be required to work on weekends too.

I have mixed feelings about the whole thing. In the afternoon class I am the only non-Korean in the class. There are only 2 foreigners left, besides me, in the morning class.
There's not much left of the course, but I am going to finish it.
There's just tomorrow, then Monday and Tuesday, and then a last trip just to write the test, then I'm done.

I had a strong urge to leave Korea today. I really could see myself flying back by the end of the week or no later than the end of next week.
But then I remembered the real and valid reasons that brought me here. I need to be mature and in a stable state of mind emotionally. I don't want to sacrifice whole portions of my lifetime, where I am not where I want to be, or doing what is not best for me. But I also don't want to be a 50 year old hippie, living with a nutty old woman who can at least offer me a room and board.

I do feel a strong sense that my time in Korea is done, and that I need to be elsewhere at least. Japan, Singapore, Scotland... The good thing is that this is a professional organisation, whatever happens. And that, for Korea anyway, work will be at a higher level, higher rate of pay, more disciplined effort overall. It's important, after the Ironman, to also require more from myself in other things, because I know I should, and I believe I can.

When I arrived home I had a few packages waiting for me from Amazon and Trisports. One of the books is called SIMPLICITY. Once I've assembled my swedish style swimming goggles, they arrived with everything else today as well, I'll be able to swim again.

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