Thursday, April 28, 2005
I spent the whole day sleeping and resting, and my throat is really swollen and sore.
I went through this blog and read something I wrote in March, the 11th or 12th I think, somewhere around there. I wrote that I had had a nightmare, that I was in Korea, with no place to stay, looking for work. I realise now that that nightmare is my reality now. I'm not exaggerating. I'm really not happy. I had about 2 weeks where I was awake at night and sleeping in the day, and once I turned that around I had one good week, and now I am sick, staying inside again in the day, reading, and bored out of my skull.
Is this Korea's fault. Probably not. But it is also very hard for me to pretend that here (in Korea) is where I'd like to be for another year. It's not because of anything particularly terrible - it's the fact that I have done this for 3 years already, and so I am aware of the implications of another year.
I will give myself until next week Wednesday. If I am not feeling healthy, and in a MUCH better frame of mind, I'm going to call it quits. I'm going to get out of Korea. For now, and perhaps, forever.
If, on the other hand, I feel better, and happier, I'll stay. There are many ways to skin a chicken, many ways to live our lives, and this may not be the best way for me any more.
Chopping trees in the USA
Catching fish in Alaska/Iceland
Working on a magazine in Bloemfontein, South Africa
Building riverside lodges on our farm in South Africa
Starting a swim coaching clinic or any other business idea...
There are some alternatives to this... All are just as freaky as Teaching English in Korea sounds, or looks like on paper.